A Belated, Beautiful, Breezy, Blow-up: Shamrock RR

I just sort of knew this wasn't going to be my race but I didn't want to believe it.

I will talk more about the amazingness that is Loopfest in a separate post.  I had so much fun meeting everyone and chatting (even though it was briefer than I would have liked!) however before I can think about the fun I need to process what the heck happened on this race/training cycle/etc.

When I registered for Shamrock last year I registered for the full.  I was in the middle of training for a half marathon which was going remarkably well.  My mileage was increasing, my speed was steadily improving, everything was looking optimistic and amazing.  I had visions of grandeur, pulling off 20 mile runs in the winter like a true badass, triumphantly completing my first full marathon surrounded by loopsters, friends from Boston, and a beautiful seaside setting.

I gave up on the full in the middle of January.  There were 3 main culprits: illness, altitude and travel.  The first two kind of helped each other out.  After 9 days of running at altitude while visiting my parents over Christmas my lungs just lost it.  I tried to push through a hilly 14 miler at 6,000 feet and wound up walking after an asthma attack hit hard at mile 10.  It took me a week to recover and I basically missed 2 long runs as a result.  Work had me traveling pretty much every weekend in January and I wound up shorting a 15 miler to 8, and just realized I didn't have the mileage or time to get that training cycle back.  My marathon goal was put on hold.

My mileage and times were looking pretty good for a half, though.  I switched to the half and figured I would try to finally break the sub 2:00 barrier.  I added in some intervals and pace runs and was feeling pretty great.  A 5 mile race in February resulted in a PR despite being pretty hilly.  I was feeling amazing and was pretty sure this race and I were good to go.  I don't think I've ever been more optimistic about a race 3 weeks out.

So of course something went wrong.

After an easy 4 miler one day I did a yoga class and my left leg...I don't even know.  My calf would cramp and then it moved and felt like my Achilles, or my hamstring, or my hip.  I'm pretty sure I did something to my Sciatic nerve after enlisting the help of expert Loopsters on Facebook.  Having a diagnosis didn't change the fact that I needed to take some time to recover and my long runs and speed work suffered tremendously as a result.  I told myself, loopsters, my friends, my family, I was not trying to accomplish a goal anymore at Shamrock.  I was going to JFR and see how it went...

My mind has a really hard time letting go of goals.

I went out in my (optimistically) assigned corral ahead of the 2:00 pace group, and figured I would start slower than them, and if I felt good try to match them when they caught up to me.  With any luck I'd still have some gas left for the last 2-3 miles and I could push ahead, making up whatever time I'd lost at the start.  I tend to run every race slower at the start and fast at the finish anyway, so I figured that would fit my past trends.  I found my groove during mile 1 and 2 and felt amazing. My calf was totally fine.  A 9:35 mile in mile 2 felt easy.  The 2:00 pace group was right behind me and I decided to keep close to them for as long as I could.  

Miles 3-6 were actually pretty fantastic.  I was cruising through this part of the race.  I felt great, temp was good, fuel was good, I was smiling, I was fast (for me).  It didn't hurt.  I actually pulled ahead of the sub 2:00 group for a bit and hit the 10K mark at right around 57:30. New 10K PR!!!  Not quite sub 2:00 pace but pretty close, and I almost always have a good kick at the end...

...and this is where the wheels came off. I turned into the wind at Fort Story and I felt like the wind was an invisible wall I was trying to run through.  I realized that my "easy" quick pace was a torturous effort, and when I looked at my Garmin, I saw that I had lost :50 seconds on my mile pace almost instantly.  I got passed by the 2:00 group and while they were doing some cheerleading it didn't look like they were suffering the way I was.  I couldn't figure out why this was so much harder on me than it seemed to be on everyone else.

I started to doubt all sorts of things.  I wondered if my calf had been better during training and I'd had a couple more longer runs, if this stretch would have gone differently. I started to question my food from the day before and the morning of the race and looked down at my hands and was shocked that they were super swollen, indicating I had a hydration problem.  I stopped looking at my Garmin because the number kept getting slower and it was depressing me.  I just mentally lost it and gave into the slower pace.  When I got to the water stop at mile 8 I started walking almost immediately and walked through the whole thing getting Gatorade/water.  I walked a little after, drinking the fluids trying to figure out what I was going to do with the rest of this race.

My body answered that question as I started to "run" again.  My legs felt like lead, there was still wind.  I could feel a blister forming on the bottom of my right foot.  My gait was off now and my hands were still totally swollen.  I decided I would run the rest easy and just finish running.  I spent a lot of time ruminating on how painful these last miles were.

I wasn't upset, I was actually sort of grateful for the experience.  Obviously I would rather have an awesome race and feel fantastic at every mile and every stop, but I didn't and there were lots of reasons for it, and I knew I couldn't change any of them on the course.  I could literally only finish or not and the mode of that finish was up to me.  Given the drop off in pace from the first part of the race and the state of my legs I was pretty sure a PR was out of the question, even though it was mathematically possible and should have been doable.  So I just focused on maintaining a steady pace.

Somewhere around mile 11 I remembered that even if I hurt I should enjoy what I was doing on that beautiful day, by a beautiful beach.  I gave kiddos high fives and tried doing the peace sign for a few photos as per Loopster recommendations the day before.  I said hi to the OSOM loop ladies when I ran by and was so happy to see them.  I started to get it in my head that I would finish the last mile strong, that this pain and anguish was all mental and I just needed to push.  I started to push, I felt a little better, I came around to the boardwalk and got SLAMMED with wind again and knew that was it.  I would finish, it would be under 2:10.  It would not be my slowest half ever.  But it would not be pretty.

I finished in 2:08:47 and was so relieved to be done.  I thought the finish chute would be miserable and long given how I was feeling on the course, but it immediately seemed pretty awesome.  There were smiles, congratulations, I actually took a picture with my finisher's medal for the first time.  This one was harder than the others, I wanted to remember it.  That picture wound up being amazing, it doesn't even look like I wanted to collapse for 5 miles.  

I met up with some friends from Boston after and walked around the finishers tent a bit.  They were kind enough to let me warm up at their hotel and get cleaned up since I had to head back pretty quickly after the race.  

I'll be back, Virginia Beach.  Shamrock and I have a score to settle.