A 3.32 mile prayer.

The weather today in Boston is definitely worse than Shamrock, but nothing was going to keep me inside.

One year ago today I was training for my first half marathon and watching my first marathon.

I had never been a runner, you see.  I'm not fast, and only newly athletic.  I started running reluctantly, because my trainer told me it was the trick I needed to lose my last few pounds.  She was right, so I kept doing it, but I didn't really like it...until I had a race to train for, until I had my half marathon.

I diligently trained.

I logged miles and miles in cities I travel to for work, sometimes waking up at 4 am to get them in before a busy day.  Sometimes doing 8 or 9 mile runs on a treadmill (this takes a long time when you're slow and 90 minutes on a treadmill is not the most fun thing ever) so I could get them in when I was at an airport hotel surrounded by industrial areas.

I learned I liked training.

On 4/12/13 I logged my first 10.25 mile run.  I had never in my life dreamed I could run 10 miles without stopping.  When I finished I was sort of dumbfounded.  To top it off, I did it on the first day of a trip for work.  Me.  The non-runner.  Running 10.25 miles on a work trip.  I was elated and in love with running, and training.

On 4/15/13 I didn't need to run.  But after working in the morning I caught some snippets of the elites finishing the Boston Marathon.  I was just in awe.  I knew all the places, I saw my friend Sarah's house.  I thought of a former student who I knew was running, I was so impressed.  I wondered, in the back of my mind, if somewhere after my half marathon there was a full lurking out there somewhere for me...and so I finished working, changed, grabbed my shoes and went out to run.  Nothing fancy, 4 miles.  Easy mileage now, even for a former non-runner.

At mile 2.5 something was wrong.  My phone rang, and then it rang again.  My text messages started going off.  I stopped (I never stop when running) and saw that I'd missed calls from my brother, mother, a guy I'd recently started dating...I was very confused...and then I got in touch with my brother who asked if I was okay, and told me what happened.

I didn't really understand how someone could have bombed the utterly inspirational scene I'd just witnessed. I got literally sick to my stomach at the thought of my former student, friends and other people who would be crossing the finish at that moment.  These are the people you know.  The people who find the time to run 40-50 miles a week balancing kids and schoolwork and an office to do something spectacular.  These are your family and friends.  These are my family and friends.

I finished my phone calls and started to walk back and decided that I would run.  That no one would ever take running from me. Ever.  In that moment, running became personal.  Anger drove me to the fastest mile I'd ever run, at that point.

Since that day I've run hundreds of miles.  I've run 3 half marathons, 2 One Run for Bostons, a 10 mile race, 2 10Ks, 2 5 mile races, countless 5Ks and a lot of training miles.  On the horizon I have 2 half marathons, a Ragnar, a hell of a hill to climb, and, God willing, a marathon before the end of the year.  I've made so many good friends and learned more about myself than I ever thought possible.

I learned that the city of Boston has some beautiful places to run.
I learned I can run through the rain.
I learned I can run through silence and it's sort of like a prayer.
I learned I can run when it's frozen outside.

I learned I can run when it's sweltering hot.

I learned I can conquer hills.

I learned I can conquer injury.
I learned some races feel easy...
..and I learned I can persevere through those that seem to go on for miles

And so, today-I watched it rain and bluster all day, progressively getting worse.  I grew teary eyed during the NPR coverage during the drive into work, during a moment of silence in homeroom, and during a moment of silence at the moment the bombs went off last year as I drove home...and I decided I just didn't care what the weather was like today.  Today I was going to run.

I ran for everyone who can't anymore and everyone who wants to.  I ran for the new friends I've made and the old friends who have supported me through everything.  I ran for the family that gave me life and unending love and support

And yes, I ran for me.  For the me that wasn't a runner and all of the things she didn't know.  And when the wind blew harder, I ran harder.  When the rain burned my cheeks I put my head down and kept going, and when it wanted me to quit, I didn't, and I won't. This is a sad day for my city, and a sad day for runners and those who love them.  Here is my very humble contribution: a pensive 3.32 mile prayer.

#OneBoston #BostonStrong